Assalamualaikum. I'm 20 years and 14 days old. I realized that I've not write anything in 2017. And a lot had happened. I went to umrah during my semester break in my matriculation year, and I've graduated with CGPA 3.43 and Band 5 in MUET. Nothing to be proud of, not as good as others for sure. There are a sea of people graduated with 4 flats but I'm thankful for what I got, given that I've played so much hahaha. Matriculation, though days. Gain a lot of experience, and weight hehe.
Right at this moment, I'm on my semester break. Finished my first year of degree with CGPA 3.51. Bolehlah dari takda hahaha. I'm currently taking a Bachelor of Arts (Hons) English For Professionals in Universiti Sains Malaysia at their main campus, Penang Island. I think I will write a post on my umrah experience later. There's a lot I want to talk about, yet I have no strength to write. Here today, I want to talk about common courtesy.
I learned in school that saying thank you and I'm sorry is a good thing to do. And now that I'm 20, I couldn't agree more. It's super simple, consist of two to three words, yet can soothes someone's heart and make someone's day. Amazing isn't it? However, it's not as easy as it seems, and I've figured out why. It's because I lack it in my life.
I didn't go out much. Wouldn't say that I'm an introvert, but I rather stay alone and do a lot of things by myself. Sharing room is not ideal for me and I've been wanting to have a room to myself for so long, yet couldn't get the chance ( problem for people with siblings). I could say that I've been around my family the most, and they didn't make saying sorry and thank you a common thing. So it's... awkward.
I noticed this the most when Hari Raya comes. Gosh, I got chills trying to ask for forgiveness from my parents. It makes me sad. I feel the distance between me and my family members. I envy others who have theirs parents or siblings as their best friends. I do realize that people will put only the good things on social media, but I couldn't help but feel needy.
I love you? It only comes during birthdays, I only said it to my parents. Couldn't recall if I've ever received any. And the awkwardness, ugh. Once in a year, you can tell how distance I am with them. I've been scolded for things (my fault) but I've rarely been thanked for doing things. Call me insincere, but I think it's not too much to ask for. I just need acknowledgement as a human being.
Over the years, I've noticed that my family don't express our feelings enough. So I made a mental note that I would teach my children to express their feelings more. I always remind myself to take note of the things I wish I have and try my best to not let my future kids down. It's my goal to be a best friend to my future daughters and sons, but still earn respect from them. I hope they would feel safe and secure to share everything with me.
I would teach my kids to say sorry and thank you not only to strangers, teachers and friends, but to their own family members. And I want to set an example to them, that their parents are trying so hard to raise them, but we're still human and we make mistakes. Thus, we can told them that we're sorry. We also acknowledge their effort to make amends in this house, our house. So we'll say thank you. And that we always love them no matter what, we will say that we love them. On daily basis, not only on special occasions.
We'll learn from our parents to be a better parents. That's life. May Allah guide us.
Alya Ayob.
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